Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Episode 11

Episode 11

Next two days of life in my in laws home. I was pampered and respected. Suja and her parents were curious to know where was I taking her for honey moon. I showed the tickets to them. Suja was not ready to believe it. It would be a very long honey moon. She loved that idea and immediately pressed a kiss on my cheek with a word “ thank you” and ran away without even noticing that  her parents were around.

In another day we were to leave for our honey moon. We packed all the things and then left to  my parents home. Slowly after a chit chat the entire day, we had to leave in the midnight to catch the flight. Arjun ensured that everything would be taken care in office. And the plan ended up to return back from my honey moon and directly head to Bangalore.

It was always the good and experienced saying that when you have your beloved the time will just fly in seconds. Even months would be minutes. Same was with me. I even failed to realize how the time flew. Until it was just 2 days for us to leave to India from Italy. I realized that when Arjun called me. It was a shock again.. Reena got another miscarriage and she was seriously admitted in the hospital. And Arjun was forced to leave to States. He wanted to check with me if I can come back immediately to take care of the official things.. I was happy to do anything for Arjun. Reena’s abortion gave me a shock and I was just worried about her health.

I had promised Suja that I would be taking her to Thailand for two days visit. Which got cancelled as we had to rush to Bangalore. This is called uncertainity. I couldn’t make Suja understand the importance. The poor guy Arjun manages everything without a word for the last 2 months and still what more can I ask? How much of arguments and fights and disappointments? Disgusting. Is this called a married life? I was just out of the scene and wanted to get rid of this lady. How can she be that bad that she cannot even understand others issues as well… I was so tired of all these. I was taught that using bad languages and  hitting a lady is bad.. may be that came into my mind that I stopped my hand from hitting her.

I threw the passport on her and asked  her to enjoy her life and come back when ever she wanted. And started packing my things. She was out of her mind for few mins. She was screaming and god knows in which languages as I couldn’t understand the head or tail of what she was talking about. She finally came back with me. The entire trip was full of silence. I went back to Chennai and as promised.. the second fight started for  not going to Bangalore. She started with that. I was not even concerned to even reply back. I went home. I thought she would stop if she see the elders at home.. but that didn’t happen. She was even more worse. I was sure none of the parents would welcome such an arrogant and shrewd daughter in law. Still my mom came and tried pacifying her. She went and slept with my mom.

It was the next morning when I was getting ready to leave to office my second sister in law Vaishu Anni came and advised me that Suja is a small girl. She is new to this family and I need to be more sensitive and responsible to handle her. Next complete week was just the worst part as Arjun never returned and I had to travel back and forth between Chennai and Bangalore and work kept me busy. I knew Suja would be out of her mind. She started yelling when she saw my brothers been greeted by mom or their wives. She yelled that she didn’t have one at home to do that. She started regretting for getting married to me.

Its all over.. What a human.. we were never brought up that way. A month of official work and Suja’s non stop pressures kept my day worse slowly. I was finally glad to get Arjun back.. Thank god.. he came to save me . I heard that Reena anni is fine and was discharged from the hospital. Heard that her abdominal region and all that girly stuffs are weak and she needs more rest. Arjun’s parents were leaving to states to be with Neeraj anna and Anni.

Arjun took over Bangalore branch as I insisted on that. I wanted to change Suja’s activities. I wanted her to be with my family. She was very adamant. She was just stubborn  to an unbearable state. Iam not a short tempered person normally, but she got on my nerves. She fights to that extent and ends up demanding for sex in bed. I don’t think any one for that matter would go to his wife when she is of  this kind. I tried coming home very soon. I pacified her. She picked up fights at  home when I was not at  home. She started insulting the ladies at home. None wanted even a word to come to my ears as they knew about me. But I head amma talking to my neighbor. She was crying that she screwed my life by getting me married to Suja.

I was not able to even take it any longer. I called Arjun and asked him to come back to Chennai branch. I wanted to handle her all alone. I didn’t want my family to go through this. Finally we went back to Bangalore. Soon slowly as days went by I got used to her anger and words and I even saw  the change in her. She started cooking for me. She greeted me with a smile. End of the day she wanted sex and nothing else. So if I give that to her she  is good to me. O my god.. what a need? When I came to understand that it was highly impossible to be with her every day. Its become a routine.

But I was glad I was able to keep her happy. I called my family and told that Suja has changed and informed that she wanted her own privacy and that’s the reason for her behavior. I knew that they were wounded and hurted by her. But they were happy on hearing that.. may be they thought it was enough if I was happy. I was then asked to come Chennai branch. From there I travelled to Germany. A German company gave me more business. So I had to be there for a conference and finish a business deal.  Suja said that she will be leaving to her mom’s home and be there till I return back.  I left to Germany and that took just more than 20 days to return. There was no phone from Suja pestering to know about my return which surprised me. And when I returned back she was there to welcome me. Next two days was awesome. Suja was so good to me. She kept talking to me to well. Most of all no fights. I was so happy and wished everything went that way. Slowly she started saying that she was getting bored while I go for work. And she doesn’t have any one here to spend her time. She wanted to join work. I was glad. I offered her to come to my office. But she wanted something in her own field. Though I didn’t want her to work under anyone and offered to set up her business. She denied that. Next one month of happiness. But as soon as she joined work. Small fights that she cannot cook at home etc. I got a maid to cook at home too. Now started eating outside more often.

Life was monotonous. I did realize that  I was married for 5 months now and wanted to talk to Suja about a kid.  She didn’t even allow me to complete when I started with this topic. Soon she started coming home late. She even came home at midnights. She was busy with her work and slowly the closeness between us started to reduce. She didn’t want to even sleep with me. She was just busy all the time. She left early. One day I went by her office and wanted to meet her. Probably wanted to have lunch with her. But I was informed that she quit her job long back. I was just shocked. So she started to lie to me. Fantastic. I was sure my life is just screwed to the core. I didn’t talk anything to her about this. She just maintained her life style same way. Slowly I even realized that she come home drunk. I couldn’t even take it any more. I checked her mobile and her laptop slowly when she was sleeping. There were so many messages from men. Most of them were adult jokes and most of them were like seducing messages.

I knew it was the end of it. I really have to find a fix. I asked my PA to call me at one particular time in the morning and asked him to say something like I have to travel abroad etc. the last visit was to Germany and after that I haven’t travelled any where. I told him to say the same thing to Suja as well. As planned, she called me. I was taking my shower and asked her to pick up the call. Suja came back telling me that my PA had informed her that there is one emergency trip to Hong Kong and I have to leave by evening. I left as planned and she waved a happy bye bye. I booked a stay at the hotel and left from there by 2am. I went back home and opened the door. She usually leaves the door locked using the key. So I was sure I can  unlock the door  using my house key.

As soon as I entered my bedroom I heard her voice. I was not clear who was that speaking but I heard another man’s voice. I didn’t want to see any rubbish. I didn’t have the guts to face that. I prayed god that  it should be the TV. But, my instinct was right.. She was with another man on the bed……………….

Memories will continue…..

Monday, August 29, 2011

Buried Memories - Episode 10

Episode 10

IT was the wedding time. All  were very busy at home. Family members were running here and there to distribute the wedding invitations as well. I was left all alone at home. In another 5 days Suja will be officially married to me. I was so nervous. Arun was always advicing me that marriage life is just only extra responsibilities. And not only that there will one extra person who will share her life with me.

Day 1:
How am I going to handle the situation? Friends and relatives came home. All were teasing me and pulling my legs. The next was my Haldi function. We call that as Nalungu. Relatives will come home and they would do nalungu for me. I was supposed to wear a Dhothi and a shirt. They will make me wear a garland. Make me sit on a chair. They would apply turmeric on my hands, cheeks and keep sandal paste and Kumkum on my forehead. Bless me by throwing flowers and rice. All the family members do this. Only married people can do that. There were more than 200 people at home. All were busy in taking care of relatives. The function went on for 2 hours. They finally ended the ritual by taking arathi (thisti – blackeye) and asked me to wait in my room. I wanted to wipe out the sandal and the kumkum. But some one or the other kept coming into my room and wishing and blessing me.

Soon the food was arranged and I had my lunch. We were not allowed to call each other this time. 5 days are going be a hell for me without hearing her voice. I called up Arjun and asked how the official stuffs are. He asked me to concentrate and enjoyed the wedding season and do not worry about official matters. I am sure that would be too much to handle for Arjun. Arjun was also busy with his love life as well. He is in love with his child hood friend. And now its been so many years those two had been together. And they were waiting for Neeraj Anna to get a kid first. And Arjun is slowly settling down.

Day 2:
Suja’s Nalungu. Arjun and all my family members had been  to the Nalungu. I was not supposed to go to their home it seems. So I was locked at home. I asked Arjun to pick up few pics of my dear and show me. I saw her.. My angel was wearing a golden colour silk saree. The blouse was a maroon one with stones on it. Yeah, that was  my selection. I never knew that she would wear that for this function. I was glad that I could also select some good ones.. Wow..

She looked so cute. She was dressed up and filled with so much of jewels. My dear Suja.. how would you bear that weight of gold ornaments.. I remembered that she never liked wearing any artificial jewellery. She told that when she purchases a silk saree.. she ends up in buying a complete gold collection which matches the saree. She did the same when she purchased the other sarees too when she was in Bangalore. She really looked beautiful. I saw the pics of  how she was pampered and cuddled by all her relatives. I knew that her mom fed her even now. She was so pampered and she said that she will be missing all that when she gets married.
I had promised her that my mom and my family members would do that to her.  I was there for her more over. I was over confident that I can keep her happy and satisfy her needs.  The day was done.. another 3 more days to go.

Day 3:
Mehandi function for both Suja and me. Its was in our own homes. She was asked to wear a silk saree again. And I was dressed in pyjama and kurta. I really didn’t understand why  these customs are followed. Another 2 more days to go. Everyday ended up with just nothing but almost the same set of relatives at home. And same kind of function. I was so bored. I texted Suja to send me her pics which would be taken today. She send them by end of the day through MMS.
My god… was she  a human? She was so gorgeous. Why did she send me her pic? I was not able to wait to see her.. hold her hands.. feel her wonderful lips.. hug her.. my thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.. It was my friend’s brother Neeraj..
“ hello anna.. how are you?”, I started from my end.
“yeah yeah… perfect. How are you pudhu Mappillai.. Marriage kushi a?”.
I smiled and gave a hmm while he continued.
“I wanted to come there for ur wedding da.. but Reena was asked not to travel. I am sorry to say the news late to you all.. I am gonna become a dad soon.. she is in the 4th month.”
My happiness had no boundries. After so many years of married life. After so many miscarriages Reena Anni has conceived. I jumped with joy. “ Anna congrats. How is Anni? No issues if  you don’t come. We would come to see you. But, please take care  of Anni………..”

Before I could complete he went on.
“ sorry da.. I had to tell you this message late. Everytime she conceives we would say that immediately. May be a thisti or something nothing worked out. But this time doctor confirmed that everything will be good and fine as far as she takes adequate rest. If amma is next to you please hand over the phone to her. I wanted to convey this message.”

Amma was so busy with guests. She couldn’t take the call. But Vanitha anni spoke to Reena Anni and I was sure that was a long conversation and so many girly girly advices and I knew that my phone will not be back for another 1 hr.

Yeah.. I guessed that rite. Almost every one spoke to Anna and Anni and the call took nearly 1.2 hrs. My god. I was worried about his telephone bill. Hmm.. I was glad that along with my wedding Neeraj anna was also giving me a good news.

Day 4:
The function was not in the morning or afternoon.. this was in the evening. Its call penn alaipu (to welcome the bride). This happens in the marriage hall. Here both the family members will be present. Her parents will bring the bride with all the Varusai thattu . They will read out what they are doing for the girl and send her to our home. And in return my parents will give some equivalent amount of varussai thattu to welcome her to the new family. I was allowed to go there for 1 hr. That’s all. L.

I wanted to be there for the entire function. There will be a huge crowd. Close to 2000 people. No wonder my parents wanted to show off and so did they too.
How many plates… in the name of varusai thattu along with my Suja? I couldn’t imagine. I have seen these in other weddings. But this didn’t happen in my brothers wedding. I was unsure why they wanted to have these customs and delay my wedding……..

I saw my Suja walking peacefully in slow paces. Her head was down. She was dressed in a beautiful peacock green saree. She wore a garland on her neck. She didn’t even lift her head up and see for a moment. I guessed she was shy. I saw her wearing so much of jewels. How many bangles? I was never interested in jewels. Vanitha anni was never a jewellery freek as Arun hated them. He used to say just dress up in a simple manner and doesn’t like to be dressed with so many jewellery stuff. And  I have seen him snub anni saying : “ I don’t want you to show off  how much jewels you have.”  Arun had almost my characters. I couldn’t even think of saying that to Suja. If she likes. ..  let her wear.. J I just need to give up on that…….

I never knew that I had to give up on so many things to Suja. A compelled life. I was not aware of all the disaster…………

Day 5…..
Thank god.. the last day to wait to hold Suja hands. My reception. It started at 5.30 pm and ended by 11pm. This happened in the marriage hall. I was dressed in a wedding suit.

 I wore a grey blazer and pant. I wore a  purple shirt  and a tie. I wore a formal shoes as well. And my dear was dressed in a purple silk saree. She just looked like …….. I have no words. Can a girl be that beautiful or was that a make up. She wore saree in the Gujarathi style. And I heard her anklets. She walked up to me. I lost myself in her beauty. No wonder so much of jewels and bangles. She had left her hair loose and pinned with gold beads. That shone like gold…
We were next asked to do pooja and pray god. Then asked to exchange garlands and then did a vanakkam to the crowd.. and then started the function.
Why did my in laws and parents call so many of them. God what a pain. We had to stand and even in the tiredness had to give a broad smile and stand for a still …. What a hard day.. I had never experienced this. I saw Arjun and my friend Vijay having a nice food here and there. They picked up so much eatables and kept walking around. And Arjun even came up to me to show the smell. My god.. the hunger was even the worst.

We were not even allowed to sit for a minute. Standing the entire evening till mid night. Stand and pose for the photographs and smile. Suja was almost tired and she looked like she would faint. But seeing the huge set of crowd who came to see us.. I kept encouraging her that it would be over soon. And she managed to stand.

All was over by around 12 am and then they served us the dinner. We were dead tired. I waited to atleast talk something to Suja. But, she was not interested in anything other than to hit the bed. When she was about to return to her room, Vanitha Anni called her and said.. “ Suja, wake up at 4 ma.. we have a nalungu, then would be the mugurtham.” And she replied, “ Hann. Fine. I was told about that. That could happen only if you allow me to hit the bed soon.”

That was a bit rude. And Vanitha anni got tears in her eyes. I was just furious. Vaishnavi Anni stopped me saying….. “ That’s ok. She is tired Tarun. Please don’t pick up a fight. She will  be fine.. don’t worry”.  Hadn’t she stopped me , I would have yelled at Suja. Was that right to talk to an elder like that? Anni was just fine and she just consoled me. I expected Suja to ask Anni sorry the next day. And I was just worried and called Arjun.

Arjun.. my friend, denied to take me for a drink. My friends are having a party in the marriage hall in one of the rooms and even denied to join me as I was supposed to be awake the next morning. But some how managed to drink few gulps and didn’t even knew when  I slept.

I was woken up by Varun. He was really angry and asked why did I drink so much and I even heard Arun and Arjun and few other people yell at me . I just recognized the voice and didn’t recognize faces. Arun threw some water on my face and then I just lost my hangover and got up. My sis – in laws were also yelling that they were trying to wake me up frm 3.30 am and it was already 5. They asked me to take a shower and come. I got dressed in a hurry. And it was quick nalungu with just 11 people. Finally every thing was done for Suja itseems and she was in getting dressed for Mugurtham.

I again got dressed and came to the privileged wedding seat in front of the homam fire. It was already 6.45 and she was not out. Now the priest started shouting, “ Kalyana ponna allachitu vanga…” It was almost the 20th time he yelled and the bride’s  room door opened. No.. it was not Suja.. it was her friends, cousins.. even her grandmom.. at last I saw her forehead first. My girl………… My to be wife was there… What a beauty. I was lost seeing her pretty face. My anger didn’t even dare to stay for a second more. I was just blank was watched her walking all the way.  

We sat together and she didn’t even lifted her bowed head. She didn’t even look at me. I didn’t want to make that obvious to everyone that I wanted to see her face. I was floored with her silence. All the rituals and customs were followed and finally the moment came and I was handed the “sacred” yellow thread .. with the gold Thali pinned to it. As I held it in my hand I heard some one scream “getti melam” and I was asked to tie on her neck.

Then started the next set of rituals one by one like wearing a toe ring, putting rice on each others head, finding the ring in the milk pond etc. some how everything ended by 11.45 am. Then we sat there for a few mins and left from the mandapam around 2 pm. We were first taken to my home and did some pooja and welcoming the new bride session. I was dead tired by then. So was she. Then again had to rush to her home before 6 PM. As soon as we entered her home, Suja went into her room to change, and never returned back.. I was asked to go and check what she was doing. But I saw my sweet angel lost in her own world.. sleeping. She was a sleeping beauty indeed.

It was time for dinner and we were asked to refresh and come to the dining hall. She wore a saree again. O this time a pretty simple one and she was there for dinner. After dinner we were asked to go to the bed room and our door was locked from outside…… There ended my wedding story……

It was a happy one indeed .. but the disaster was to start from my honey moon………….!!!!!!

Memories would continue.